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Hello? Who Is This? Margaret?: Essays
by Dani Alpert 
Category: Humor Essays, Ebook
Praise “Hello? Who Is This? Margaret? is a find. It’s a series of sometimes rollicking and sometimes tragedy-bounding but always amusing essays of a girl who starts on a path to a life in show business but gets diverted. From the West Coast to the East Coast to Prague, the essays take us on a journey best described as a report from a woman living as a modern-day member of the Lost Generation. To grasp the breadth, depth, and fascination of the life being depicted, you have to read the book.” --Mark Lonow, co-owner of the World Famous Improv and actor |
ABOUT THE BOOK
Dani Alpert is an expert on the fortitude and delusion required to pursue childhood dreams that just won’t drop dead. Her stories are a case study in the human spirit’s tenacity and its unwavering ability to keep going in the face of crushing rejection. For many years, she toiled in the entertainment business, where the only responses she received were “Almost,” “So close,” or “Not quite.” Humor was the life vest that kept her afloat.
Some stories dive into the bowels of childhood, the creative psyche, and the birth of an aspiring Broadway baby. Other tales explore crippling adult fears and self-doubt, and what happens when the ingénue becomes a member of AARP. Whether she’s describing her bumpy road trying to get a foothold in Hollywood, her retail adventures shopping for gas masks during COVID, or her idiotic decision to vacation at a romantic couple’s resort after a heart-wrenching breakup, Dani provides gentle shoves—inspiration wrapped in cautionary tales—for anyone still chasing their dreams but feeling stuck.
Hello? Who Is This? Margaret? delivers tales of universally awkward, misunderstood, and human failings through wit, pop culture, and Dani’s losses and wins (mostly losses). Her humor—sometimes dark and distorted but always self-aware—is a salve for the messiness and absurdities of life. Dani’s candid essays speak to the hopeful in all of us.
Dani Alpert is an expert on the fortitude and delusion required to pursue childhood dreams that just won’t drop dead. Her stories are a case study in the human spirit’s tenacity and its unwavering ability to keep going in the face of crushing rejection. For many years, she toiled in the entertainment business, where the only responses she received were “Almost,” “So close,” or “Not quite.” Humor was the life vest that kept her afloat.
Some stories dive into the bowels of childhood, the creative psyche, and the birth of an aspiring Broadway baby. Other tales explore crippling adult fears and self-doubt, and what happens when the ingénue becomes a member of AARP. Whether she’s describing her bumpy road trying to get a foothold in Hollywood, her retail adventures shopping for gas masks during COVID, or her idiotic decision to vacation at a romantic couple’s resort after a heart-wrenching breakup, Dani provides gentle shoves—inspiration wrapped in cautionary tales—for anyone still chasing their dreams but feeling stuck.
Hello? Who Is This? Margaret? delivers tales of universally awkward, misunderstood, and human failings through wit, pop culture, and Dani’s losses and wins (mostly losses). Her humor—sometimes dark and distorted but always self-aware—is a salve for the messiness and absurdities of life. Dani’s candid essays speak to the hopeful in all of us.
Dani Alpert
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Dani is a Writer, Pilates Instructress, and Advocate for the Down syndrome community. Her collection of personal essays, HELLO? WHO IS THIS? MARGARET? comes out August 2025. Her memoir, THE GIRLFRIEND MOM, is the winner of the 2020 Story Circle Network Sarton/Gilda Award in honor of the comedian Gilda Radner. She spent decades working in theater, television, and film, performing, writing, and directing. Her work appears in numerous outlets. Her first headshot was her mugshot, taken after being arrested for tagging when she was a juvenile. She’s been trying to reclaim those glory days ever since.
Website:
https://www.danialpert.com/hello-who-is-this-margaret
Dani is a Writer, Pilates Instructress, and Advocate for the Down syndrome community. Her collection of personal essays, HELLO? WHO IS THIS? MARGARET? comes out August 2025. Her memoir, THE GIRLFRIEND MOM, is the winner of the 2020 Story Circle Network Sarton/Gilda Award in honor of the comedian Gilda Radner. She spent decades working in theater, television, and film, performing, writing, and directing. Her work appears in numerous outlets. Her first headshot was her mugshot, taken after being arrested for tagging when she was a juvenile. She’s been trying to reclaim those glory days ever since.
Website:
https://www.danialpert.com/hello-who-is-this-margaret